existential issues

The Sea of Galilee (Kineret) - August 2009

2009-08-29T22:37:00.006+03:00

San Francisco, April 2009 - Alcatraz

2009-04-25T16:34:00.007+03:00

Tribute to a fair modern heroine, my primita Leora

2009-02-25T16:14:00.011+02:00

It has been a while since last time I posted something on this blog…

I want to dedicate this post to my special cousin (primita in Spanish), Leora.

My primita Leora is a beautiful fair blond energetic sportive and idealistic woman. She has been for years a reporter in the Los Angeles Times and she is a temperamental, dedicated and authentic person that hates hypocrisy and injustice.

About one an a half year ago she experienced a “blow out disk” and was subjected to her first disc surgery; two weeks ago she had a second intervention, in the course of which an artificial disk was implanted…

Life can be compared to a large expedition during which a lot of unexpected events occur to us, when we imagine we are enjoying a placid period, a new event surprises us, sometimes we are the subjects of this event, and many other times, our closest family members and relatives are the ones experiencing it. As western individuals who have been used to CONTROL, it is extremely extremely difficult to put up with unexpected events that take control over us (specially and mainly with events that affect our health and with medical interventions which result could have been “luckier”).

[One hundred years ago, women my age were old ladies without many teeth left on their mouth (provided they did not perished during birth giving or killed and raped on a war assault), but still, all this thoughts cannot help much when we, our bodies and souls, are subject to maladies and are victims of deliberate evil caused by other human beings].

Today many westerns turn to non occidental trends of thought and “religions” focused on meditation and relaxation techniques. I must confess that, from my part, I do meditate and find relief and solace on these techniques but have not been able yet to completely assimilate the idea that my life is NOT and CANNOT be controlled my own deeds (or thoughts for this matter…i.e, I implement the teachings of these schools of thought as a TOOL in order to go on with a more “bearable” western style of life...)

These thoughts have been triggered by Leora’s last email sent to her friends and families, telling us that, in spite of the fact that she is suffering from pain and great discomfort during the last two weeks (being unable of getting out of bed for more that ten minutes of even take a shower), in spite of this difficult situation, she thanks and blesses her “angel sister”, Rozzie and her friends for the support given to her, quote: “Love to all of you, and gratitude. You make me happy. And I can safely say I'm happier than I've ever been”.

And from this blog, from this Internet arena, I applaud you, dear primita, for your courage, I hope from the very bottom of my heart that you will recover from this second operation and shall keep sending you my best [non western] energies for a successful recovery (remember we are all travelers on this expedition called “life”).

LOVE, d.

MY PRIMITA LEORA's DRAWINGS - SUPERBE, EXTRAORDINAIRE, MAGNIFIQUE!

2008-09-10T19:27:00.011+03:00

books, books and more books

2008-09-06T14:29:00.016+03:00

Since my high school years, I was always attracted to intellectual types.

When serving at the IDF I met a young intellectual man that was to be my boyfriend. At the beginning we were just friends and I was attracted to his outstanding intellectual and analytical faculties. At age 22 he already had a Cum Laude BA in physics and mathematics from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and was studying his Master in Philosophy at Tel Aviv University. Today he is a professor who teaches in one of the most prestigious Universities of Europe.

In any case, what I want to state is that I always was attracted to man who read books… eventually my romance with this physician guy was not to last, since he decided to marry a previous girlfriend of him who also studied Philosophy… he was the one who INTRODUCED ME TO MY PRESENT HUSBAND, James, being aware of my dual attraction to handsome men who read books…

Today, after being married for almost sixteen years, the BOOKS are NO LONGER the OBJECT of my attraction, but on the contrary, a real BURDEN… not in vain, psychologists warn you about the major "qualities" that initially attract in a certain person being transformed with the passing of the years in GENUINE BURDENS.

In this video, taken by my eldest son, you can see exactly what I mean…

Painting lesson

2008-07-23T22:28:00.003+03:00

at the beach with the medusas...

2008-06-30T17:22:00.002+03:00

A successful MASSAGE

2008-06-28T14:48:00.028+03:00

About two months ago, before going to a trip to Paris and knowing that upon my return, I would be starting a new job, my twin sister, Gabrielle, invited our sister in law and me to a MASSAGE.

My twin sister asked for a "simultaneous" session for the three of us, and, as well, requested a LADY THERAPIST for the session; she was told that the outmost will be done in order to get three ladies for us…

The great day came and there we were, the three female-musketeers waiting for our massage in "Namal Tel-Aviv".

Upon arrival we were told that, regretfully, one of us would have to be attended by… by… by…. A MAN !! – immediately my sister in law was discarded from this [alarming] possibility since she was the first who demanded being attended by a woman… Before I could even utter a word, my assertive [and not very courteous] twin pointed at me and declared clear and loud: "she is ready to be attended by a man !"

This "attack" took me by surprise and before I could said something, the secretary of the SPA said that he is the best therapist of the place, to which my sis declared that she changed her mind and is prepared to go for it… at this stage I decided to put my [unmassaged] foot down and stated: I WILL GO FOR THE MAN !

The male-therapist was a nice young man that seemed to be quite professional; upon entering the therapy-room he asked me what kind of massage I preferred (something like a rare, medium, done version adapted to the therapeutical arena) and I told him to do whatever he considered necessary…

The massage began and already at its first stage, I was complemented for my wonderful leg muscles… I told him that I go periodically to the gym and he said that IT SHOWS… at this stage I was still happy about my [courageous] decision to go for the male since, I must confess, that I was flattered by the comment, geee, imagine how many biceps he sees per day, he surely knows something about gymnastic-byproduct… the session progressed and now my therapist asked why did he feel that my upper back muscles where tense, to which I replied that I had a difficult time during the last months… maybe it was a mistake to detail why my muscles were tense, but from this point my semi-professional therapist was trying to engage in SMALL TALK with me, which was not quite my idea of a relaxed massage…

The 50 minutes of the massage were, all in all, a SUCCESS, he clearly knew what he was doing from a physical point of view and was able to relax all the tense muscles of my back…

When the session was over I preferred not to look into his eyes but, to my dismay, I noticed I had no small change bills for leaving him a tip, as customary … I went to get change and came back to him, handled (without looking at him) the 20 NIS bill and thanked him for the massage, to which he answered while softly squeezing my arm: NO NEED REALLY, I REALLY ENJOYED IT !!!

Cat in Montmartre Cemetery

2008-05-30T11:08:00.022+03:00

Last month I visited Paris,

My husband could not join me, so I planned to go with a friend, but then, an attractive translation project came along, my friend could not come and, finally, I decided to go by MYSELF.

It's a kind of VIPASANA visiting a big city by yourself; you can do whatever you want all day and choose the sights and sites that you prefer to see.

This time it was the first time I was abroad since IMA died… friends have already told me that the first year of mourning is extremely difficult since there are many "first events" that you do for the first time without the loved one… indeed IT WAS difficult, the simple fact that I could not share my experiences – as I always used to – with my mother was very hard for me…

In any case, I decided to visit the famous Cemetery of Montmartre, which I found extremely peaceful and aesthetic. At a certain point a cat caught my eye since it was sitting calmly among the graves…

Of course, you cannot avoid thinking about your own death, that shall come one day and seize you from the world of the living; and, subsequently, about your present life, and whether you are living it in a worthful and meaningful manner…

Personally, I have spent nine years of my life studying philosophy, and on the past years I have been focusing in psychology and meditation techniques… I must say that, although all these studies allow you to understand that the existential issue is, in fact, the most intense and demanding quest for the thoughtful mind, yet, in order to find some meaning and peace of mind, it is imperative to find a daily meaning to our lives, which, in most cases, involves giving love and affection to other persons or living souls.

In the material modern world of today, which is full of noise and constant interruptions, I would recommend everyone to invest the time for going for a peaceful walk in a cemetery…

[This post also appears on my "oncological blog", which I started after my mother died, six months ago]

Splendid PARIS

2008-03-19T17:40:00.008+02:00

Café Nimrod

2008-03-09T16:47:00.012+02:00

http://www.cafenimrod.com/

During the last month I have been having breakfast every Sunday on a beautiful enchanted café in "Namal Tel-Aviv" ("namal" means port/harbor in Hebrew) called Café Nimrod. Just to remind you – I have the time for having coffee since one month ago I got a layoff notification from the high-tech company I was working in (see previous post on the subject).
The reason I came on Sundays is that it's the working day of my CLEANING LADY (who thanks g o d has not quitted the job yet as her predecessors did…).

What I am going to tell you is a very SAD ISRAELI STORY, another one of so many tragic ones that characterize this unique country of brave people who have no choice but to fight for their mere right to exist…

So… Today, for the first time, I noticed that the MENU itself was actually a dedication to a fallen IDF officer called Nimrod Segev who was killed in action on the Second Lebanon War. It quoted a letter written by the late Nimrod to his wife on the day that he was called to "miluim" (reserve duties). In this [probably last] letter, written in a highly poetic and emotive language – Nimrod relates to his beloved wife, Iris, that he received a phone call from the recruiter army officer. He tells her how weird he felt taking the kids to the KINDERGARTEN in the morning, and combating the enemy on the evening of the very same day… a reality that characterizes ONLY ONE COUNTRY IN THE WORLD - ISRAEL. In Nimrod's own words: "I am a high-tech engineer from Ramat Gan (he worked in Microsoft-Israel) that took his children to the KINDERGARTEN in the morning and combats the enemy in the evening of the same day, but, nevertheless, I do it willingly in order to maintain my peace of mind".

As his brother, Ehud Segev, tell us, Nimrod's tank was demolished by a direct Hezbolla missile, his wife received the tragic notice of his death in "tu be av" the Hebrew Valentine's day…The coffee house was founded in his memorial by his good friend and his only brother, as a TRIBUTE to Nimrod's LOVE for LIFE . Yehi zichro baruch.

GIANT FISH

2008-03-08T23:22:00.004+02:00

Layoff notification

2008-02-09T22:18:00.005+02:00

The original purpose of this blog was to: a) write about the problems and dilemmas that are facing modern Israeli women of today; b) write and English blog that will be read by my English speaking relatives abroad (in addition to my Spanish blogs :) ; c) self-check my English writing skills (due to the fact that till the present day I have defined English as a passive language and not an active one). ).

Yet, I have found comfort and solace writing about my experiences on the young Tel-Aviv arena of dating and nightclubbing…

Being a woman at her late thirties, I already know that life is full of surprises and unexpected events… less than two months ago 39% of our company's shares were bought by new shareholders… a big announcement was made, there was a BIG party with a famous Israeli band and lots of dancing, good energies and hopes were spread around, and then, all of a sudden about 8 employees were dismissed to their homes…. Me among them (the SEO team was dismissed and its services will be performed by an outsourcing company that belongs to one of the new shareholders…)

It is NOT NICE to get a layoff notification, not nice at all, but I guess this is one of the aspects of the High Tech arena…

Maybe my future posts will be about my interviews…

flowers for everybody

2008-02-09T22:15:00.001+02:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008 TO ALL MY COWORKERS …

2008-01-07T22:21:00.000+02:00

In Israel everyone is expected to be at work on the 1st of January as on every other regular day… nevertheless, it is very common to celebrate New Year's Eve partying, celebrating family gatherings and drinking champagne, as customary in most western countries…

Sooo, last Tuesday, upon arrival to the office, I went to our small dinner room in order to prepare myself a cup of coffee, and there I found a bunch of hectic young engineers and salesmen that were discussing the events of the previous evening…

I managed to overheard the following dialogue between Yaron [a handsome and dynamic salesman about 28 years old] and Haim [our dearest system engineer, responsible for the company's Internet site] :

It went like this:

Yaron - Hey Haim, what's up, seems that you cut yourself while shaving this morning…

Haim - No, I am OK my friend, really, but it seems that YOU got a kind of blow on your face…

Yaron – aaahhh, yeaaa, of course, it's a blow I got by mistake this morning from a gorgeous lady that spent the night with me…

Haim – AH, beemet… ("oh really" in Hebrew)

At this point young Daniel [the sweetest and wittiest "Media Buyer"] took part on the conversation that was heating up and said:

Daniel – Yea, really, Yaron, you should be happy and thankful for the blow, since it means that a girl has finally touched you…

Haim – but my friend, after carefully analyzing this blow of yours, I must say, it is a MAN's blow…

We were all laughing at this point… It was the nicest way to start the NEW YEAR 2008!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY COWORKERS !

Dead Sea - January 2008

2008-01-05T18:31:00.001+02:00

This picture was taken today at the DEAD SEA

It's not "Facebook", it's "Fakebook"…

2007-12-23T22:55:00.000+02:00

Listen… I have been browsing through the pictures of the young profiles shown at Facebook and I must say that I have seen lots of bathing suits, attractive bosoms, beautifuuuuuul girls and handsoooooome men….

Rega, rega, rega (that means "one moment in Hebrew), I might be forty but I am not that naïve… all these young people can't be so attractive… I mean, maybe 60%, say 70% but not all of them, definitely not all of them…

Now I remember an hilarious story that told me Yali (an attractive female coworker of mine)… yes, let's see… she told me that about a week ago she met somebody online, the guy posted the photo of a very attractive man and Yali thought she would be glad to meet him... soooo…. They talked (I don't know whether they had a "conventional phone conversation" or whether they talked via skype or other modern device still unknown to me… ) but, yes, they communicated verbally…

While speaking, Yali felt it would be only fair to inform the (supposedly) gorgeous suitor that she is NOT thin, that is, if he was looking for the "model type", this was not the case. The man replied politely that, although he usually prefers to meet with thin girls, he was ready to make an exception for once, due to my friend's beautiful voice…

I don't know if you already imagine what the outcome of this was (I suppose that if you are female-readers, you are already smiling and if you are men you still don't have a clue…) in any case… when my beautiful, fair-skinned colleague got finally into HIS car she found a man that was about 20 years older than the young man of the picture, with no similarity whatsoever with the virtual image …

She eventually managed to escape without having to dine with the deceiver (she made him unerstand that it would be extremely difficult for her to have diner while having her eyes FIXED ON THE WATCH… )

Facing FACEBOOK

2007-12-18T22:57:00.000+02:00

In order to mingle with the younger generation of today, you should:

1. go to a dance club, ingest some alcohol and flirt with the barman (please see previous posts on the subject).

2. open a facebook profile…

About a week ago, Sharonnie (my friend and young colleague) asked me whether I already had a "profile in facebook"… [one of the things I have learned since working with younger people is NOT to reveal my ignorance] so I said – "I think I have heard about it, could you please tell me more … "

So then and there, she showed me this new social application and designated me as "her friend", the application, on the other hand, announced a whole bunch of people that: DAPHNE AND SHARONNIE ARE NOW FRIENDS…

Imagine, what an announcement… I was moved… a new virtual friend and also… the whole world knowing about it… geeeeeee

So since then, I have not been able to:
write a new post/watch TV/take care of my domestic chores/walk with my doggie/prepare food for my boys/talk to my husband ;

on the other hand I have been:
feeding the virtual aquarium of my cousin at Boston/ planting flowers on my cousin's [virtual] garden/inviting my friends to cocktails / taking quizzes about "what kind of Disney princess am I" [by the way: I AM BELLE]/finding out that my boss cooked a Chinese dinner on Friday [sorry, Eedo, it was written on your status… ] etc…

Zohar, my wise colleague at work, told me today that "there are pills prescriptions for people who have these kind of disorders [actually, I think my husband will have a common subject to discuss with him… ]

Painting lesson

2007-12-04T17:48:00.001+02:00

Some linguistic clarifications about herpes…

2007-12-02T20:15:00.001+02:00

This blog is read also overseas by my wonderful and sexiest cousin (whom I call "primita" ). By the way, primita, I wish you, together with my blog readers, a speedy recovery from your back lesion!

Sooo, my primita is a professional reporter and editor (besides, it seems she has some experience kissing strangers…) and she made some linguistic comments:

While in Israel we designate as "herpes" both oral and genital herpes, at the US they refer to the oral disease as "cold sores"…

This is the actual scenario (say if you are having fun in a club or pub):

"Excuse me dear stranger/ exciting lady, but I cannot kiss you because I have a cold sore" that's the token, seeee : "excuse me, but I have cold sores" (and NOT oral/labial herpes since this terminology is far too bold for our overseas kissers)….

Sores/Sour and other associations - what's Aesop got to do with it

2007-11-28T22:53:00.000+02:00

I don't know whether you know Aesop's famous fable of the Fox and the Grapes, but I believe it's related to my previous post…

This is how the tale goes:

The Fox and the Grapes

One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

Being a happily married woman for fifteen years and a day, the kisses and the grapes must stay beyond the material grasp...

some reflections based on the "club episode"

2007-11-27T17:51:00.000+02:00

I would resume the dance bar experience stating that there was no place to seat or dance, the place was overcrowded and people drunk there lots of alcohol.

Back at the office I asked some members of the younger generation if they enjoyed that kind of outing and they answered that (a) in order to be in the mood it is mandatory to drink a minimal amount of alcohol (b) the main objective of being at these places is to meet members of the opposite sex and (c) they DO NOT REALLY enjoy these outings…
A female coworker told me that one of the main attractions of this sort of entertainment is that you know "how the outing begins, but not how it ends", i.e., you never know with whom you are going back home…

[!!!@@@@&&&&!!! – SIN PALABRAS – NO COMMENT – BLANK ]

It took me a few minutes to process this info, but then I thought that I would NOT consider even kissing a stranger … let's see, he is a stranger after all, I do not know anything about him, we have not been properly introduced, HE might have [oral] HERPES, for evens sake ! …

[I have the feeling that I am a kind of "slow starter" for these adventures],

Let's see… mmmm, imagine I kiss the barman or the guy with the intense glance and enjoy the experience… then I get home and my lips began to feel sore, what happens next? Besides, the sexiest guys are the ones that kiss often many women, so, statistically speaking, the odds of them incubating herpes would be higher; maybe I should consider asking him in advance whether he is a "safe kisser", or, else, try to look closely into his lips texture in order to find traces of something "fishy"(literally speaking... )

A certain feeling of stress and uneasiness is getting me now, I do not really think this is the kind of anticipation excitement that characterizes a pre-kissing mood… I am beginning to think that I would NOT enjoy kissing a stranger in a dance bar after all…

light, noise, glasses and other misfortunes

2007-11-23T22:39:00.000+02:00

Once directed to the bar I managed to climb over the high stools and seat, not without avoiding to catch the fingers of Sharon, who was seated to my left…

A splendid barman handed us over two menus which I hardly managed to read due to the faded light and extremely small text (at this stage I had no other option but taking off my glasses in order to be able to decode beverages types and prices…).

Sharon ordered an alcoholic drink, while I opted for a familiar bottle of mineral water, which I eventually succeeded to get from the (shocked) barman in spite of the poor light and sound conditions….

Our next mission was to make contact with other company members that were supposed to be there !

Although we arrived half an hour after the time set for the party, Sharon was NOT surprised of the fact that we were the first ones to arrive. Now we started sending SMS messages to the missing persons. This is the first time I really appreciated the fact that my cell had an SMS service, since handling a "normal" telephone or live conversation at the club was IMPOSSIBLE. Our friends sent us a message saying that they were "coming in 5" [that is: coming in five minutes time], to which I answered: K [at this point I felt VERY PROUD OF MYSELF and thanked a million my 12 years boy for sending all those encrypted messages to his virtual friends while playing virtual games on the computer… KK means "double OK".

The rest of the party arrived after a while and, they all ordered vodka and beer, held to them in HUGE recipients. At this point sharonnie seemed to be rather satisfied and happy enjoying the music, and so seemed to be the other guys that were chatting behind us… A guy sitting in front of mine exchanged with me an intensive glance and Sharon said that in Europe the average age of the pub visitors is much higher [old Europe, again, it has been a while since I visited one of its local clubs populated with amiable women and older intellectual guys… ]. I commented that on this poor light nobody will notice our real age (I always believe in POSITIVE THINKING) and Sharon replied that she was not so sure…

visiting on a Tel-Aviv dance bar

2007-11-23T22:03:00.000+02:00

Having fun in a pub at your forties…

Being a mature woman at her forties I am not used to go out and visit pubs or clubs…

Yesterday night I had the good fortune [and anthropological experience] of visiting one of those modern [and noisy] places accompanied by my younger friend, co-worker, companion, and anthropological guide [savior maybe]: SHARONNIE…

We decided to meet on a "dance bar" called Banks, located on the heart of Tel Aviv, where we were supposed to part from one of our colleagues who decided to leave the company and depart to his quarterly surfing vacations to some Caribbean/Brazilian exotic islands…

(on parenthesis I would add now that the prospect of having quarterly vacations on some exotic island is COMPLETELY remote from any vacation notion that I might have, being a mother of two boys aged 12th and 10th and devotedly committed to my domestic chores… )

Sharonnie came to pick me up from my drawing/painting lesson on a cab and we arrived together to the club (on the way we had a typical vivid Israeli style conversation with the cab driver who complained about Tel-Aviv girls who are not "friendly" to strangers, in contrast to European young woman who supposedly open their arms to any man who approaches them… )

Upon arriving to the place, Sharon entered self secured and assertively a local which I believed to be a simple BLACK WALL… I followed her… (as from this very instant she became my GUIDE… )

The place was packed with people and smoke and we were seated at the bar.

existential issues

2007-11-21T13:01:00.000+02:00

On this blog I intend to approach the main existential issues of life that concern today the average intellectual western women/mother/daughters.